Anger
Keep God’s covenant in your trials. Hold yourself by His blessed word, and do not sin. Flee anger, wrath, grudging, envying, fretting. Forgive a hundred pence to your fellow servant, because your Lord has forgiven you ten thousand talents. For I assure you by the Lord, your adversaries shall get no advantage against you, except you sin and offend your Lord in your sufferings.
- Samuel Rutherford
Proverbs 16:32
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
Like all of our emotions, anger is God-given and is expressed on a sliding scale of intensity. Sometimes, our anger remains hidden or comes out indirectly through sarcasm, irritability, gossip or depression. Other times, it’s plain to all through aggression, road rage, manipulation or withdrawing from relationships. Anger, at it’s root, is always a response to something–injustice, hurt, being misunderstood. Our sinless Savior showed righteous anger in response to the merciless and greed hardened hearts of the Pharisees (Mk 3:4-6; Mt 21:12-13). As one born in the likeness of men (Ph 2:7), Jesus understood what it meant to feel anger and use it for the glory of His Father and the good of others rather than for sin.
If we’re honest, most of our experience with anger has not been as righteous warriors for good, but as ones struggling to be angry and not sin (Eph 4:26) against others or ourselves. Because we live in a fallen world, sinful anger is always at the ready (Gen 4:7). The good news for weak people like you and me is that God promises to help those who humbly seek Him (Ja 4:6) and give grace in our time of need (Heb 4:16)
This is a quick guide to help you as trust Chirst in your battle against anger.
- Samuel Rutherford
Proverbs 16:32
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
Like all of our emotions, anger is God-given and is expressed on a sliding scale of intensity. Sometimes, our anger remains hidden or comes out indirectly through sarcasm, irritability, gossip or depression. Other times, it’s plain to all through aggression, road rage, manipulation or withdrawing from relationships. Anger, at it’s root, is always a response to something–injustice, hurt, being misunderstood. Our sinless Savior showed righteous anger in response to the merciless and greed hardened hearts of the Pharisees (Mk 3:4-6; Mt 21:12-13). As one born in the likeness of men (Ph 2:7), Jesus understood what it meant to feel anger and use it for the glory of His Father and the good of others rather than for sin.
If we’re honest, most of our experience with anger has not been as righteous warriors for good, but as ones struggling to be angry and not sin (Eph 4:26) against others or ourselves. Because we live in a fallen world, sinful anger is always at the ready (Gen 4:7). The good news for weak people like you and me is that God promises to help those who humbly seek Him (Ja 4:6) and give grace in our time of need (Heb 4:16)
This is a quick guide to help you as trust Chirst in your battle against anger.
Scripture Passages for Insight and Prayer
Psalm 4:4–5 (ESV)
4 Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah
5 Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord.
Galatians 5:16 (ESV)
16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
Proverbs 22:24–25 (ESV)
24 Make no friendship with a man given to anger,
nor go with a wrathful man,
25 lest you learn his ways
and entangle yourself in a snare.
James 1:19–20 (ESV)
19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Proverbs 15:1 (ESV)
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Colossians 3:19–21 (ESV)
19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Ephesians 4:31 (ESV)
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
Romans 12:19 (ESV)
19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
Psalm 37:8 (ESV)
8 Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.
Proverbs 14:17 (ESV)
17 A man of quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated.
Luke 6:27–36 (ESV)
27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
4 Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah
5 Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord.
Galatians 5:16 (ESV)
16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
Proverbs 22:24–25 (ESV)
24 Make no friendship with a man given to anger,
nor go with a wrathful man,
25 lest you learn his ways
and entangle yourself in a snare.
James 1:19–20 (ESV)
19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Proverbs 15:1 (ESV)
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Colossians 3:19–21 (ESV)
19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Ephesians 4:31 (ESV)
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
Romans 12:19 (ESV)
19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
Psalm 37:8 (ESV)
8 Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.
Proverbs 14:17 (ESV)
17 A man of quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated.
Luke 6:27–36 (ESV)
27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
Practical Tips
With the Word
With you and others
- Memorize James 1:19–20 (or another passage from the list above). Write it on a card and post it in your car, on a mirror or as the background on your phone.
- Study some of the biblical narratives that feature anger. Write down your insights and turn them into prayers of supplication, confession and repentance.
- Cain and Abel, Genesis 4:1–15
- Gideon responds gently to accusations, Judges 8:1–3; see Proverbs 15:1
- Nabal’s rage, 1 Samuel 25:9–17
- Asa’s sinful anger, 2 Chronicles 16:10
- Jonah, angry with God, Jonah 4
With you and others
- Do not attempt to reason with someone when they are angry; wait until you both can communicate calmy.
- Every time you confess your anger to God (and others you have affected), write out a solution to the problem with God’s Word as your guide.
- Think through and write down the kind of situations that push you toward anger. Then, seek mature brothers and sisters who can help you toward biblical solutions.
Some Encouraging Reads and Listens
- How to Deal with Anger by Henry Brandt (1997)
- How Do the Easily Angered Become Tender? (a Look-at-the-Book with John Piper)
- Do Not Trust Your Anger by Ray Ortlund (2020)
- What Our Anger Is Telling Us by Jonathan Parnell (2014)
- Anger with Ed Welch and Myriam Hertzog (Where Life & Scripture Meet: A Biblical Counseling Podcast)
- Battling the Bitterness of Parenting a Disabled Child by Christine Hoover (2012)
Posted in Encouragement Guides